A fresh start for domestic violence survivors — and their pets

It’s never as easy as “just leaving” an abusive relationship. For those sharing a home with both their abuser and a beloved pet, the decision to leave a domestic violence situation often also comes with an insurmountable obstacle — leaving a best friend behind. The reluctance is well-founded — 89% of victims of domestic violence who have pets say their abusers threatened, hurt or killed their pets as leverage to prevent them from leaving or to force them to return in order to care for the animals. 

In a survey by the Urban Resource Institute and the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 97% of respondents said that keeping their pets with them is an important factor in deciding whether or not to seek shelter from domestic violence, and half said they would not consider shelter for themselves if they could not take their pets with them. But according to nonprofit RedRover, In the United States, only 19% of domestic violence shelters allow pets. 

RedRover is working to change that, pledging to help 25% of domestic violence shelters become pet friendly by 2025 with their 25 by 2025 campaign. A pet-friendly place to land can make all the difference — as one survivor told the organization, “this project saved two lives because I wasn’t going to leave my husband without my dog, Chico.”

A shelter becoming pet-friendly can include updates like installing waterproof flooring, providing access to outdoor spaces for potty breaks and exercise and creating protocols for having pets on site, RedRover President and CEO Katie Campbell tells Fetch. “One of the most important pieces of becoming pet-friendly is really establishing collaborative partners that can provide support to the organization, pets and pet parents — this includes animal organizations and veterinarians.” 

"This project saved two lives because I wasn’t going to leave my husband without my dog, Chico.”

The 25 by 2025 campaign works to increase the number of shelters that can take in both survivors and their pets by giving out grants to shelters and advocating for pet-friendly policies. Nonprofit domestic violence and animal organizations across the United States can apply for RedRover Safe Housing grants of up to $60,000 to build or renovate spaces dedicated to housing survivors’ pets, begin a foster program to care for survivors’ pets, pay for temporary boarding for survivors’ pets and other services. Since 2012, RedRover has given 210 grants, totaling more than $4 million.

For those who don’t yet have a pet-friendly domestic violence shelter nearby, RedRover can also assist through their Safe Escape grants, which helps survivors offset the costs of boarding a pet while they stay at a domestic violence shelter. Last year, 338 animals were helped through Safe Escape. Others can find support through the RedRover Responders program, a network of almost 5,000 volunteers who offer emergency shelter for displaced animals. In 2023, the program sheltered 2,076 animals.

"Residents say that coming home to or falling asleep with their pets is among the few moments in the day when they believe that everything will be okay.”

Similar strides to get survivors and pets to safety together are being made across the pond, thanks to Dogs Trust U.K.’s Freedom service, a dog fostering program across London and the South East, East Anglia, the North of England, the Midlands, Scotland and Wales (the charity also has a U.S. affiliate). Since many shelters don’t accept pets, Freedom gives survivors time to leave a domestic violence situation and find a safe, pet-friendly home by placing dogs with foster carers.

Help through Freedom comes fast. “In some cases, where fosterers are already known to us, we are able to turn a dog placement around in as little as a day,” the Freedom team tells Fetch. “If we cannot place a dog into foster care immediately, we can place them into kennels in the short term to allow the owner to flee safely. We always try to move as quickly as possible due to the severity of the situation.” The average foster placement lasts five to six months, but can range from just a few weeks to over a year — pet parents get regular updates and pictures during the foster care. Freedom covers the cost for their fosters, including food, vet treatments, neutering/spaying if needed, treats, toys and bedding. They even help out with grooming where needed, and will cover the cost of hiring spaces for off-leash runs for dogs that struggle walking on a leash or need more space to run around.

Since launching in 2004, the Freedom program has supported over 2,600 dogs. "Often, people tell us that they believe if they had stayed in the relationship that they or their dog would have continued to be hurt or even killed,” the Freedom team says. “This is incredibly sobering and you realize that to give them a choice of fostering rather than the alternative of having to hand their dog over for permanent adoption allows them some control over their life that has otherwise been stripped away by a perpetrator.”

The benefits of the work that Freedom, RedRover and similar organizations are doing extend well beyond helping more survivors take the first step to leave a violent home. In the survey from Urban Resource Institute (URI) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 91% of survivors share that their pet plays a significant role in their ability to heal and survive. Since launching the People & Animals Living Safely (PALS) program to help survivors find pet-friendly shelters in New York City, URI reports that “PALS residents say that coming home to or falling asleep with their pets is among the few moments in the day when they believe that everything will be okay."

That relief lasts longer than just a few moments. Research shows that the non-judgmental and unconditional love provided by pet companionship Is a profound form of emotional support that could reduce feelings of isolation during a crisis. Pet-related routines also provide structure when navigating a different environment after leaving a violent home — laying a strong foundation for a new start with an old friend.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 in the U.S. (800.799.7233) or visit this site in Canada.